you were already mine.
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: (Waffy and one of my favorites! ^_^) Subaru's hung up on the idea that maybe two men together isn't such a good idea. Seishirou takes him out into Tokyo for a break and for Subaru to open his eyes to whats before him reiterating again why Subaru is his


Disclaimer: Tokyo Babylon is clamp's. I'm just so in love with Seishirou and Subaru that I need to satisfy my craving by making fics.  
  
  
You were already mine.  
by Miyamoto Yui  
  
  
As the apartment somewhat creaked in the middle of the night, I looked at the window to find that the night sky had given way to sprinkling its sorrow onto the ground. Maybe it was because there was no moon?  
I laughed. I couldn't tell.  
I would have to touch the sky to understand its aura, wouldn't I? And that in itself is impossible.  
  
Or is it?  
  
I didn't know that you could touch the sky. But by the way Seishirou looked at me, I always had this deep feeling that he would give me anything.  
Anything I would ever want.  
I laughed again. I was such a kid. Is that how much someone changes when they fall in love with someone they didn't think was possible to fall in love with?  
  
Oh, gosh, the countless times I had to think this over and over. "I'm in love with a man."  
  
"Gender shouldn't matter, should it?" Seishirou had said to me as I looked out the window of his apartment one day.   
"But isn't the most orthodox kind of love between a man and a woman?" I asked innocently unable to look into his eyes. That's why I was staring out the window.  
I'm sixteen. What do I know about this kind of stuff?  
  
Watching and hearing about it doesn't do much. You get the idea, but you'll never understand until you experience it.  
Geez, I sound so sappy. I think I'm starting to think as weirdly as my Hokuto-chan.  
  
The only thing I knew by now was how to take a 'job' and finish it. That's it. I didn't know anything else.  
  
I wasn't trained to.  
  
And when you have a sister like Hokuto-chan, you'd rather shut up than blush and ask her. Trust me, I've asked. And it ended with me thinking, "I can't believe you outdid yourself. Again. Aiya."  
  
"That's what we're told, yes, Subaru-kun." Seishirou now stood in back of me. But, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "But we're not playing by those rules, aren't we?"  
  
I stood there like an icicle to my place. Hot and cold at the same time and not really knowing what kind of temperature was I supposed to be at that moment.  
  
He took my hand and dragged me out of his apartment. As he closed the door behind him, he took my hand again.   
"I-I don't think you should hold onto me." I protested.  
  
"Why?" he said. "Does this mean you don't like me?"  
  
"No..." I weakly protested as I was more and more embarrassed.  
  
We walked all the way to the train station this way. And people began to whisper around us: "Look at those two." "What is that man doing to that boy?"  
  
It was then that I felt their stares on my back and the sweat rolling down my brow. I had forgotten also about our huge age difference.  
And now, I was clearly reminded of it.  
  
But as we got on the train, we sat next to one another. I looked out of the windows as the scenery passed by.  
You forget things like this when you think of the world all the time. You forget to look around while you're going through life.  
  
But what was he trying to show me?   
  
I looked at him curiously.   
  
What are you trying to tell me?  
  
Seishirou winked at me. "You've been quiet for quite a while."  
  
I blinked. "Well, you did just drag me out."  
  
"Aw...don't pout." He got up right then. "This is our stop."  
  
I got off with Seishirou, but we walked next to one another now without holding hands or of the sort. When we walked through the stairs and onto the main street, we passed by an ice cream shop.  
  
"You're hungry, aren't you?"  
  
"Kind of..." I held out my hand and shook my head. "Don't worry about it! I'll-I'll get something on the way-"  
  
Drag.  
He took the sleeve of my red jacket and got me ice cream. Well...*sighs* how should I put it? He got ice cream and I insisted not to have anything. He barely took a small bite when he thrust the green tea ice cream and cone into my face. "You finish it. I can't."  
  
I looked at him and my eyebrows touched slightly as I pouted. "You tricked me!"  
  
"We wouldn't want this to go to waste, wouldn't we, Subaru-kun?" He still held out the cone before me.  
  
I sighed and took a bite. "Mm...This is really good."  
  
"Yeah, I could see that." He took out a handkerchief and wiped my chin. "What will you ever do without me?"  
  
I tilted my head while blushing bright red that I didn't even answer the question he just asked me.  
"You treat me like a little kid," I said exasperated by his antics so far.  
  
"But I love you all the same, don't I?" He smirked happily at me and I stood there gawking.  
  
"Hey, don't let the ice cream melt." But then, he got this twinkle in his eye that indicated only one thing: He was going to tease me.  
  
Badly.  
  
"Then again, I can help you clean that up afterwards."  
  
Oh, that wasn't so bad of a joke.  
  
"I'm trying not to spill anything." I said in between eating.  
  
He laughed as he shook his head. He then rubbed my hat while sighing. "I'll be tired by the day you actually understand what I'm trying to say to you."  
  
I blinked at him again. "I don't think the way Hokuto-chan does. If you want me to, I'll try to understand."  
  
He laughed as he shook his head. "I like you just the way you are."  
  
  
As the day wore on, we walked all over. I just followed Seishirou around not really knowing what we were doing.  
  
"You know, this is kind of fun." I said as we stood on some tall public building while looking down at Tokyo.  
  
"Yes, it has been."   
  
He then took my shoulders and held me at the edge as if I were going to fall. "Seishirou!!!!" I shouted with all my might.  
  
"Open your eyes, Subaru."  
  
And at that moment, I felt that he was telling me more than opening my eyes.  
  
I looked down at Tokyo as if I were flying. On the brink of falling and yet not so. I don't know how to describe it.   
It was absolutely amazing...  
  
He took me down and held my shoulders for a while.  
  
I didn't know whether to thank him or to scold him at such a reckless action. If I told Hokuto-chan, she'd probably kill him. She'd kill him after she had fun laughing at the story that came along with it though.  
  
He looked intently at me.  
  
But the smile had somewhat been tarnished.  
  
Seishirou was looking at me as if he had lost something from long ago and was trying to find it. I didn't understand what was going on, but I could feel his distress.  
As little as it was and as well as he always covered it.  
  
"Why...why are you looking at me like that?" I finally asked.  
  
He cupped his hands over my face and shook his head. "Nothing. Forget about it."  
  
Seishirou then let go and turned around. "Let's go."  
  
And my gloved hand caught his jacket. He turned around.  
  
I wouldn't look at him. I couldn't comprehend what I was doing either. But somehow, deep inside of me, I didn't want this day to end.  
  
But in the end, we left and squished into the subway train back going home. But as the people got to be more and more noisy and even more crowded, the train jolted. I was pressed against the window and there was Seishirou in front of me.  
  
In front of all these people, he was protecting me. His arms were at the sides and touching the windows behind me.   
  
In that small space, I felt like we were alone. I looked up at him, but he was looking around making sure that no one would push him or get near me.  
And the train jolted again. I smiled up at him even though he wasn't looking. I even closed my eyes as I pulled on his shirt to come closer to me.  
Surprised, he stepped a bit closer. I laid my head on his chest as we took the ride home.  
  
It was then I knew. It was only then did I understand what he meant.  
  
The people stared at this odd couple around them...  
and I didn't care anymore.  
  
  
As we walked home, I asked, "Why did you take me out today?"  
  
"You needed a break."  
  
"Is that all?" I glanced at him not looking too convinced.  
  
"Really?"  
  
I then walked in front of him and stopped without turning around to look at him. "On the subway back..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It was then that I knew..." I turned around to watch his reaction. "..how much you really loved me."  
  
He stopped for a bit. His eyes softened.  
"How about me, Subaru-kun?" he asked as he stood next to me.  
  
I turned around and pulled slightly on his tie so that I could look at him face to face. Smiling, I closed my eyes and kissed him on the lips right then and there.  
  
I immediately turned red as soon as I finished and wondered where did I get the courage to do that...  
  
We looked at each other deeply and I shook my head. "I thought you had me all figured out, Seishirou-san."  
  
"Haven't I?"  
  
I gently and slowly let the tie go as I answered, "You caught me already when you said 'Hi' at the station when we first met."  
  
  
"Even before that..." I heard him whisper to himself.  
  
  
These words worried me and made me feel happy at the same time.   
  
  
He caught my shoulders and embraced me from behind in the darkness of the night as he buried his face into my hair.   
  
"Even before that...  
you were already mine."  
  
  
  
--  
author's note: Okay, so it's waffy. But dammit! I needed a fic like this after all the angsty ones I've made. It's different from what I intended, but I really wanted that subway scene.  
  
Funny how 'Solid Gold' can always keep me going. When I think that I've lost my touch for Tokyo Babylon or the feel, there it is to flood my thoughts with ideas. Or at least, I can taste the feeling with my ears.  
I absolutely love this song to pieces. Well, in as much as I love the concept of Seishirou Sakurazuka. Yes, I'm a twisted and psychotic woman. Yes, I even admit I like Muraki somewhat from Yami No Matsuei. These interesting characters don't come so often and their unbalanced or twisted logic drive my enthusiasm on as a writer and as a creator.  
Subaru oh subaru! ;_; Being an esper sucks, doesn't it? When you're on the brink of falling asleep, your aura is at its height and you catch the voices of the people around the world who are searching and shouting to be heard...  
An esper...an esper's life... *doki doki* is so full of melancholy.  
  
Oh 'Solid Gold', where have you been hiding? I can't find the disc. ;_;  
But moreover, the essence of Tokyo Babylon...  
  
The sweetness of bitterness and sorrow and love and loyalty. To me, this is Tokyo Babylon.  
  
Don't mind me and my complaints. I made this at midnight, not eating, a bit sick, and the unbearable silence...  
  
Woohoo! In less than four hours, I made three new fanfics! ^_~v 


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